A Little Too Ouran For Comfort
by Still-Fantasy
Summary: Since Haruhi’s father is temporarily staying at a friend’s house for “business purposes,” Haruhi is leaving Ouran and the host club for a week or so and staying at a new FEMALE academy. She thought she could finally live a normal life again. How foolish.


Disclaimer: I'm not Japanese and I don't study Japan as a subject, so please forgive any failed attempts at making up any Japanese names. 

A/N: Hi everyone! I've been thinking about writing an Ouran fanfic for a while now. And I'm finally doing it! *is astounded at self* Please read on and I hope you enjoy it!

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The Host Club Minus One

1

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"WAH!!! HARU-CHAN!!! DON'T LEAVE!!!" Hani rushed over to Haruhi and wrapped his arms tightly around her legs (unfortunately, that was the highest he could reach and jumping right after eating cake was bad for the stomach). "I'LL BE SO LONELY!!!"

_Right. Alongside five other host club members. Real lonely_, thought a slightly irritated Haruhi. This irritation had been brought up by

Hani's unnecessary loud disagreement

The fact that she was beginning to lose feeling in both her legs and

The fact that the piece of cake on Hani's fork was now squished to the back of her trousers.

Gingerly unpeeling Hani's fingers, Haruhi tried to calm him down. "Don't worry Hani-senpai, the other host club members can play with you. Look, why don't you get Mori-senpai t-"

BAM!

The door to Music Room 3 slammed deafeningly against the wall, startling Haruhi and causing Hani to jump in fright. Mori showed no reaction.

"HA-RU-HI!" shouted a pink Tamaki, panting from his effort of running from one school block to the other. "What's the meaning of this?! You're leaving this school and you won't even tell your own father?!!"

"Tamaki-senpai, I-"

"Oh, what a calamity! After these many summers working in the fields to provide enough food for you to survive, this is how you treat me?!!"

_What…show…was he watching last night?_ "Tamaki-senpai, I jus-"

"Wait! I understand now! I understand perfectly! A Yakuza gang visited your house didn't they?! They robbed of everything you had didn't they?! Now, with no place to go, you've been forced to sell yourself as a slave in sugar cane plantation aren't you?!"

"What in the world are yo-"

"Don't worry Haruhi! We'll order the burning of every sugar cane plantation in the world to save you!"

"I'm not asking you t-"

"Troops!" Tamaki called down the hallway and, moments later, the twins arrived at the doorway, hands in a salute.

"Hikaru! You're in charge of Europe and Africa! Kaoru! You're in charge of North and South America! As for me, I'll monitor the plantations in Asi-"

"SENPAI!!!" Haruhi screamed over the top of Tamaki's voice. "I'm NOT being SOLD as a SLAVE!!!"

Tamaki blinked. "Oh. Well why didn't you say so sooner?"

Haruhi clenched her fists. _Daffodils. Think of daffodils. Violence is not the answer._

"As I was about to tell Hani-senpai, my dad's going to be staying at is friend's house in ______ for about a week or so to help his friend's…business. It's too much of a bother answering his incessant phone calls every night so I'm coming with him. I'll be staying at the nearby school while I'm there. We're moving this afternoon."

A few more blinks from Tamaki. Then:

WAH!!! HARUHI!!! DON'T LEAVE!!! I'LL BE SO LONELY!!!"

Once again, Haruhi felt herself being strangulated to the point of collapse. Only this time, she was also being deafened by the decibels from Tamaki's ranting.

"YOU'RE SO CRUEL HARUHI!!! YOU WOULDN'T EVEN TELL DADDY IN PERSON THAT YOU WERE LEAVING!!! HOW COULD YOU TRY TO SNEAK AWAY WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE!!!"

"Senpai…get…off me…" Haruhi's voice was muffled under Tamaki's…er…embrace. "And how did you know what I was telling Hani-senpai? You weren't anywhere near this room at the time."

Tamaki froze. Slowly he withdrew to the wall, twiddling his thumbs. "Well…you see, Haruhi…father was worried about you…so father decided to put a small…audio device on your blazer to make sure you were safe outside of school…"

Silence.

"Stalker." Concluded Hikaru bluntly.

"Yup, he's definitely the worst." Kaoru nodded in agreement.

"Once again the Idiot King abuses his powers to harm an innocent schoolgirl."

"Bet his nose bleeds when he listens to her recording at night."

"My nose does NOT bleed when I listen to her at night!" shouted an indignant Tamaki.

"Oh, what's this?" an evil glint had developed in the twins' eyes. "And what other perverted secrets is My Lord keeping from us?"

"Will the three of you…PLEASE SHUT UP!!!" Haruhi could no longer withhold her anger. "Tamaki-senpai! The microphone! Where is it?!"

"Um…on the hem of the blazer's inside pocket."

Haruhi quickly found the miniature microphone but, deciding that the microphone was too expensive to crush with her shoe, put it in her pocket to sell at a pawn shop later.

"Hang on a minute," Haruhi turned back to Tamaki with suspicious eyes. "I thought bugging someone had already been made illegal in Japan."

"Well, that is indeed true," stated Kyoya, pushing up his glasses, "but after a few lengthy and _persuasive_ talks with the Government's security agency, they were prepared to make an exception this time."

_Just when did he appear?_ Haruhi sighed in exasperation. As expected of the Otori family. She looked at the mahogany, mother-of-pearl-faced grandfather clock at the corner of the room. _Yes! I can finally go home!_

"Please excuse me, everyone. I need to leave and help my dad get the luggage in the car. See you when I get back!"

Haruhi quickly left before the other host club members could respond. This decision would prove to have disastrous consequences.


End file.
